|Disagreements with a Friend / Spouse / Loved One|
by Robert Overstreet | March 17, 2013
How does Conflict Resolution apply to living a positive life?
- Unresolved conflict leads to stress. And when you are stressed, it leads to negative thoughts and energy. When you learn to resolve conflicts and especially respectfully, you are then able to bring peace and happiness into your life. This leads to positive energy.
Conflict is a natural part of relationships. As relationships grow, we learn more about each other and our differences in beliefs. Most of the differences are non threatening and are our life experiences that make us who we are. When our friend / spouse / loved one says or does something that bothers us, we need to take a deep breath, count to ten (wait till we are calm) before letting our loved one know how, what they did or said, made us feel. Refrain from being accusatory and confrontational. Be honest and straight forward, kind, polite, and respectful.
Good friends and loved ones want what is best for us. They love us unconditionally, and are our strength of support in good times and bad and help us grow. We need to see where our friend / loved one is coming from (put ourselve in their shoes). When we have a friend / loved one who actually has intention on making us feel bad, it’s time to reevaluate the relationship. See Cultivate within Garden of Great Friendships. Accept your loved one’s apology graciously and inlcude a big hug. Forgive and move on.
Always be open to receiving comments from friends / loved ones of something you said or did. Own up to what you said or did and apologize. We are human and somettimes we say or do things unintentional that hurts our loved ones feelings.
It is okay to agree to disagree. Some issues are sensitive topics and it does not mean either person loves each other any less. This means you are mature enough to say, I still love you and respect you AND mean it.
Personal experience: I had a friend that we had two distinct views on one topic. In the scheme of our friendship, we were there for each other when needed and we had full respect for each other. Some people said we sounded like a married couple becasue we would finish each others sentences. The reason the friendship ended was because my job relocated me across country. He had married and I was still single. It was a friendship in our 20s and in youth. Natural time to move on for both of us.
Choose your friends wisely, those who are positive, you can be yourself around and love and accept you for who whole self.
“Friends can help each other. A true friend is someone who lets you have total freedom to be yourself – and especially to feel. Or, not feel. Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is.” Jim Morrison
“Whatever you happen to be feeling at the moment is fine with them. That’s what real love amounts to – letting a person be what he really is”. Jim Morrison
Conflict Resolution Quotes
“Conflict can and should be handled constructively; when it is, relationships benefit. Conflict avoidance is *not* the hallmark of a good relationship. On the contrary, it is a symptom of serious problems and of poor communication.” ― Harriet B. Braiker, Who’s Pulling Your Strings? How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life
“We know from our experience that it is easier to develop trust in another person or in a group if we believe that we can disagree, and we will not be abandoned or hurt for our differences. It is difficult to trust those who deny us the right to be ourselves.” Susan Wheelan “An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.” Lynn Johnston