Being Alone versus Being Lonely
by Robert Overstreet | June 25, 2013
There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. As much as I love and accept myself and enjoy alone time, as a human, I do need contact with other humans. It has taken many years to understand to be careful who I associate with while in a state of “loneliness”. In a state of “loneliness”, I am vulnerable, and in the past, have allowed people to take advantage of me.
During lonely times, I have found myself drawn to the first person who talks to me and fall for what they say. Which has been a “fault”. When lonely, the energy I put out, in the past, was negative and desperate. It has taken many years to to learn the lesson of vulnerability.
While it is okay to enjoy talking with anyone and everyone, now, when I am feeling lonely, I am learning to be aware of people around me and their intentions. I realize it is normal to feel “lonely”, however, it is up to me how I react.
My lesson learned is to be aware of people with negative energy and their intentions while I am in my state of vulnerability. My goal is to talk to people and still be friendly, yet strong, assertive, and stand up to the negative people and send them on their way.
As a single person, I have found it challenging over the years and it has been my lesson to learn how to stay in a good place emotionally while being vulnerable. Some of the following are tips I have found useful:
- restructure my life so I have more positive human contact on a regular basis.
- make a point to spend time with friends / other quality people for positive interaction.
- eat out at favorite restaurants, become a regular, where I have people who I know, who I like, and who like me and support each other.
- get together with my friends thru meeting for coffee, “meet & eat” (lunches at different restaurants around town while enjoying each other’s company), happy hours, etc.
As much as I enjoy being alone, human contact is important. As a single person, my desire and goal is to spend time with positive people, have friends who are supportive, and positive. Also, be kind and friendly with ALL people. When I find myself going into lonely feelings, I realize it is time to focus on finding positive human contact. All be well.